October 12, 2003
Server Crushing Traffic

After a careful and only slightly inebriated analysis of internet traffic over the past day or two, it became clear that the new format, intended to woo more visitors, was a smashing success. Traffic has risen from a server stalling 40 hits a week to a server crushing 60 hits a week.

Hrmmm.

Though numerically significant, this phenomenal rise in traffic left management underwhelmed and puzzled. Perhaps the populace didn't know about the exciting developments at Zu Mingus. Certainly, repeat visitors such as Sweaty Charles have been thrilled with developments, but of course, everything in the outside world is exciting on the inside. Truly, the masses have not yet spoken.

In tried and true PR fashion, management saw fit to contract Mingus to create a press release targetting the mass consumer market. How it will work, only God knows. Or as Mingus Tourette might say, no one knows.

So now is your chance to sound off on the new format. Want more descriptions of the last bitch Mingus hammered? More stories of debauchery? More poetics? More American bashing rants? All comments, suggestions and fuck your hats are welcome in the guest book. And then, read on, MacDuffs.

October 11, 2003
Straw Dogs

Watched two movies with Chloe last night in a rare evening of calm. In what I assume is normal behaviour in most people's lives we rented movies. She picked a film and I picked a film. She picked Bend it like Beckham, which I thought was made sufferable by the presence of sassy young Kiera Knightly. Just not my kind of deal. A little too easy to see exactly where it was going. I picked Straw Dogs, which I knew would be fucking great, and it was fucking great and when Chloe didn't like it I knew that she was lost to me forever. How can anybody not think Straw Dogs is a helluva study in what humans can do to each other, to themselves, and for themselves?

In other news, Mingus found a bit of Hunter S. Thompson on the web today, and apparently, Mr. Thompson is somewhat upset with the current government running his country. In his eyes:

...we have lost the respect of the world and lost two disastrous wars in three years. Afghanistan is lost, Iraq is a permanent war Zone, our national Economy is crashing all around us, the Pentagon's "war strategy" has failed miserably, nobody has any money to spend, and our once-mighty U.S. America is paralyzed by Mutinies in Iraq and even Fort Bragg.

The American nation is in the worst condition I can remember in my lifetime, and our prospects for the immediate future are even worse. I am surprised and embarrassed to be a part of the first American generation to leave the country in far worse shape than it was when we first came into it. Our highway system is crumbling, our police are dishonest, our children are poor, our vaunted Social Security, once the envy of the world, has been looted and neglected and destroyed by the same gang of ignorant greed-crazed bastards who brought us Vietnam, Afghanistan, the disastrous Gaza Strip and ignominious defeat all over the world.

Hunter S. Thompson

My point to showing what Hunter thinks is to complement what an anti-gun proponent like Moore thinks (Oct 10). Hunter loves guns and violence. He once shot an assistant with a shotgun. The back of his new book Kingdom of Fear has a photo of him shooting a gun at the sky, buck naked (I highly recommend this photo). Moore hates guns and violence. He made Bowling for Columbine. These two are at opposite ends of the violence spectrum. They would not have good interpersonal relations, I think. Both, however, are fervently disgraced by their leaders and both feel that the US is heading for the shitstorm and it's only going to get worse. And both are absolutely right.

Because, as everyone who has see Straw Dogs will know, you can only push around the weaker-thans to a certain point. When you go over that line, just like old Americana has done, and you become an occupying force, then you walk into Dustin Hoffman's house and he is mad because you have raped his wife and fucked with him long enough and you are not getting out without getting a bear trap wrapped around your head. Or a double barrel buckshot blown through your chest.

Both these guys know, just like I know, that America has gone too far, has expanded too much, has gotten too drunk on its own nut juice and has pissed off too many people to ever think it will get away without some sort of retribution. Just like the hicks who tried to get into Dustin Hoffman's house and all wound up dead.

October 10, 2003
Michael Moore Goes to War

Michael Moore kicked the fucking shit on the old Conan O Brian show last night. Brought out some big gay skeletons for Mr. Bush to look at and shiver about. See, Michael's got these seven great questions that he wants answered. And he's got a new book filled with his theory about those questions and how Bush is doing a lot more lying and covering up than anybody could really imagine. I have a feeling that in historical hindsight, Bush is going to make Nixon look like a fucking Saint and be recognized as the shithead that brought America to its knees, and everyone will cast back to the days when all they had to worry about was a President who told a few stories about getting his dick sucked.

Moore's Questions Are:

1. Is it true that the Bin Ladens have had business relations with you and your family off and on for the past 25 years?

2. What is the 'special relationship' between the Bushes and the Saudi royal family?

3. Who attacked the US on September 11 - a guy on dialysis from a cave in Afghanistan, or your friend, Saudi Arabia?

4. Why did you allow a private Saudi jet to fly around the US in the days after September 11 and pick up members of the Bin Laden family and fly them out of the country without a proper investigation by the FBI?

5. Why are you protecting the Second Amendment rights of potential terrorists?

6. Were you aware that, while you were governor of Texas, the Taliban travelled to Texas to meet with your oil and gas company friends?

7. What exactly was that look on your face in the Florida classroom on the morning of September 11 when your chief of staff told you, 'America is under attack'?

For answers, and basically the first chapter of his new book, go here.

Or buy the book. I'm on my way.

In other news. Me and Chloe just about had a fist fight last night. Had nothing to do with anything that resembles common sense, but eventually everyone calmed the fuck down and we went at like wounded dogs.

I wrote the writer girl back saying lets do coffee. What the fuck. Bring your fiancee and we'll do it Bellamy hill style, like in the old days, for forty bucks and a pack a cigarettes.

Her name, for those keeping track, is Collette. Like that don't melt my fucking heart.

October 09, 2003
Poor Rummy

Undershadowing the rise of the machine was the scourging of poor Rumsfeld, who finally took one in the ass for the gipper the last couple of days. It appears that old Condee Rice is running the Iraq show and Rummy is left in the dark.

As much as one would like to think it is a good thing to leave Iraq in the hands of a woman, and even better, a woman of the minority when it comes to pigment colouration, we have to remember that she is, like the rest of the Bush crew (perhaps excepting Colin Powell) a cold hearted, millionaire bitch. Lord help the middle east.

Still, it's good to see Rummy have to take one in the pod for all his preaching and poetic rambling about the fate of the new world as he commands it. The white house, as usual, denies all. Salvation and loyalty apply to none.

The writer girl replied to Mingus today. Apparently she is engaged, but would still like to meet for coffee. How one is supposed to feel about this is uncertain. She is preparing to enter into lifetime servitude with her male master, YET she would like to chat about her catering plans or perhaps, how Dostoyevsky and Kafka are intrinsically tied by a struggle with faith. Or perhaps talk about what Mingus' cock can do for her.

In other news, Mingus continues to daydream. Server crushing traffic rolls on, unabated.

October 08, 2003
Awaiting Direct Response

Tired. Infatuated. The leaves have come off the trees. Autumn is come and gone. The colour's out. The grey is in. Winter howls in the distance. And I, ridden by lust that will never be fulfilled, am already ice. There is no letter returning. There is nothing returning.

Sounds like a Cunto. What the fuck ever happened to Divinity, in any case? Reaction to my Wallpaper has been largely disturbed. Even Sweaty Charles opined "ummm ... what the fuck is this?".

To which I reply. This is only the beginning.

One of my readers (The Big Dick)forwarded this to me. Somehow appropriate on a day Californians elect a movie star to govern them. Thank Christ he's not too religious.

Think for yourself. Throughout human history, as our species has faced the frightening, terrorizing fact that we do not know who we are or where we're going in this ocean of chaos, it has been the authorities, the political, the religious, the educational authorities, who attempted to comfort us by giving us order, rules, regulations, informing, forming in our minds, their view of reality. To think for yourself you must question authority and learn how to put yourself in a state of vulnerable open-mindedness, chaotic, confused vulnerability to inform yourself.
Think for yourself, question authority.

TOOL - Third Eye

October 07, 2003
Deer Hunter

Some British pinhead magician put a gun to his head on Channel 4 yesterday and pulled the trigger. Four times. Death defying indeed. If pinhead does pull this stunt again, I have one piece of advice. Watch Christopher Walken in The Deer Hunter. Especially at the end of the movie. Russian roulette is a risky business. And make sure will and last testament are in order.

Mingus personally would never do such a thing, because as a purely rational athiest, exposing one's self to such a risk of ending it all is the most incredibly stupid thing one could ever do. Almost like Blair joining forces with the US in a fabricated war and finding out after he pulled the trigger that old Georgie forgot to take all the bullets out of the revolver. Good luck on all that, Tony.

This Channel 4 broadcast is worth noting, because we seem to step ever closer to the world envisioned by Richard Bachman in the novel 'The Running Man'. (insert joke about Ahhnold here - the book is really fucking good no matter how shitty the movie was). How long till we're hunting men in the streets for money? If I remember, Mordecai Richler also predicted this sort of thing in 'The Incredible Atuk' and offed his main character at the end when he answered a question wrong on television and lost his head to a CBC guillotine. My guess is, it won't be long. I mean, it won't start on primetime, but after a smash season on HBO or other daring broadcaster like Fox, we can soon tune in to watch people shoot themselves, shoot each other and eat their young for the promise of fame and fortune. Series Seven, here we come.

In other news: Putin told interviewers that the States might want to avoid the Iraq / Afghanistan quagmire. Not that Russia would know anything about it. Nice interview, it sounds like. Now imagine Bush holding together a three hour conversation. Not fucking likely.

And in other news. Mingus emailed the young writer woman. We'll see what happens.

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