April 26th, 2006
Appearing in Chapters This Weekend: Mingus Motherfucking
Tourette
 This
weekend, Mingus Tourette will be appearing at
the Word for Word event at Chapters South Point.
The event will feature artists, musicians and
several authors who will be signing books and
talking with the unwashed masses.
Mingus Tourette promises that if you buy a book
at this event, you will get a free poem from the
author, written in the place of your choosing.
At least that's what the sign says. If you can
read it.
And it should be easy to read, because that fucker
is going to be six feet tall, propped up on my
'selling table' across the hall from former Member
of Parliament, biker and Stalwart Christian, Deb
Grey. Along with dozens of copies of good ole
nuntastic, the one
you keep buried deep under the mattress.
But, don't expect quality poems, because I'll
probably be half-cocked, ready to fall off my
stool. Or turgidly hung-over. I got some serious
ginsmacking to do this weekend. Still, I can't
wait for the children prodding their mothers to
buy a copy of that book so they can get a free
poem written about their stuffed dog with one
ear.
Such as this new work, obviously my most important
to date:
Pinky
Broken button eyes
in years to come
to come
you will symbolize
everything that was
rosebuds
buds
before it became
pinko
harvard failure applied manifestos
pinkard juilliard
pink taste of gendereXperimentation
pink cover of man ifesto books
warping everything winding
conservative meatbeef eating
pantie spotting
Dykes in the middle
that was innocent and fresh
a Dog
with one ear
before he was burned
Rabies, they said.
Though you should know
it wasn't. They just hated
that you loved that ragged one-eared dog
more than them.
Bitch commies.
---
Yeah, Chapters South Point. I'll be there Noon
Saturday till about five, and probably sometime
Sunday, if I am not too hungover. It's at 3227
Calgary Trail. The excitement. A real author signing.
Come out to watch the spectacle. Stay for conversation.
And the fistfights. Oh, and the shitty free poems.
April 25th, 2006
Raving Poets Closing Special
One Poem
One Performance
Three Hundred Dollars
The final night of the season…..this Wednesday,
April 26, 2006, at Yianni's Taverna, 10444 –
82 Avenue, Edmonton, 8:00 p.m.
The best poet of the evening, as determined by
our celebrity judge panel, will walk away with
the cash.
www.ravingpoets.com for details.
And. Imagine a day when Mingus blogs about hockey.
Cause you're fucking tired of hearing about poetry.
Could happen. I'm a freak about the hockey. On
the radio. Plus, no one gets hurt.
Excitement tomorrow. Really. Some funny shit this
weekend. Coming down the pipe.
April 24th, 2006
Tha Northern Poetry Review
 A
hot new poetry site's online: the Northern
Poetry Review.
It's run by Alex
and Dani,
who madly love the sport. To testify: they were
two of the only Toronto literati who showed up
at the original Write the Nation Monday Night
Spectacular. Brilliant.
Apparently, the NPR is "an online home for
reviews of poetry books, articles and interviews,
with emphasis on the Canadian poetry scene. We
chose the NPR acronym despite that lovely institution,
National Public Radio. While poetry is the obvious
focus of NPR, we do not publish poems. Instead,
the editors of the site hope to encourage accessible,
honest and diplomatic reviews of books published
across the country written by reviewers across
the country."
So - if you like the poetry, and the reviews,
and even Zach
Wells, this is probably your thing. Good luck
and godspeed, you rhinestone emperors.
April 23rd, 2006
The Poetry Project
A welcome addition to the Sunday paper: the
Edmonton Journal's poetry project.
Nice to have such a progressive paper in a province
often perceived as one giant beef-laden, oil-soaked,
mullet-swinging, jersey-ripping fist-fight staged
half-naked in a beer-stained igloo carved entirely
from dried cow patties.
In fact, I believe the Journal was the first paper
in the country to publish a graphic novel (about
three years ago) and the first in North America
to run a serialized novel. And now - weekly poetry.
Nice work. Though really, the poetry project started
three years ago, with a
gasmask. If you remember.
Getting there. The revolution - still forthcoming.
April 18th, 2006
Developing Developments
My publisher is tenacious. If nothing else.
He tried to strike while the iron was hot, but
he missed the anvil, and the iron wasn't really
all that hot anyway. So he's trying to strike
while the iron is cold. He thinks there's gold
in it. I think it'll just hurt his hands. But
he's doing it anyhow.
As such, there will be interesting announcements
in the next few weeks. Be excited.
Actually. Fuck the dramatic lead up. Here's the
lowdown, for all six bucks it's worth:
Mingus Tourette and his simonous doppleganger
will be appearing at a bonafide Chapters event
next Saturday. It's called Word for Word,
and will feature such writing stars as Dr. Shaila
Misri and Deb Grey, the former member of parliament,
and Mingus, local shithead.
My publisher figures he will dump a big pile of
cash into promotional materials , and hope that
I sell fifty books or more in one afternoon to
help him break even. Honestly, I don't know how
it is possible for one man to learn so little
from so many mistakes. I couldn't sell Jesus to
the dying, yet he is convinced that I can do this
one thing in a book store. And so, he prepares
to make a spectacular ass of us both, yet again.
More details on this soon.
Also, there are rumours that a stage-version of
nunt will be performed
with a full cast, sets and lighting within the
year. Perhaps, even before this summer. Of course,
we're not confirming or denying anything.
I mean, who would mount a full production based
on a book of poetry?
But, we're just saying. There are rumours.
April 13th, 2006
Kobuku Haiku Redux
In honour of the new haiku site at www.dailyhaiku.org
, I thought I'd reprint this haiku sephirot (or
kobuku, as it's properly called), with notes.
If only I'd stuck to the new mandate. I'd be fucking
rich.
As it was, sometime in 2004:
From now on, the Daily Mingus will celebrate daily
events only in haiku, and specifically, with hippo-based
haiku, and more specifically, in the haiku sephirot
format. Interpretations may be added by the author,
but do not necessarily need to be read by the
reader. I highly suggest forming your own opinion
of the koboku haiku sephirot before reading the
interpretations.
Hippo I
graceful and silent
the sunken beast emerges
moonlight on the Nile
Hippo II
grazing on shortgrass
mother and calf - nubile lips
kiss the dewy earth
Hippo III
the young male's challenge
answered by a dark master's
unmatched violence
Hippo IV
sweating blood
the intruder submerges
ripple before death
Interpretations of the Moments:
Hippo I: Chloe gets out of the tub after Mingus
tears her a loving new one.
Hippo II: Chloe eats ice cream, while talking
on the phone with her mother.
Hippo III: Chloe returns to tub, phone rings.
The accountant is calling.
Hippo IV: Mingus threatens dismemberment. Hangs
up.
April 11th, 2006
Chrysanthemum Alert - Dailyhaiku.org Launches
 (EDMONTON)
A new website devoted to the gentle written art
of haiku has arisen.
www.dailyhaiku.org
publishes haiku on a daily basis from a team of
six internationally-based authors. The site publishes
one haiku every day in an effort to bring you
a "daily shot of Zen" – a small
island of calm and simplicity to your hectic life.
Says dailyhaiku.org founder and Editor Mike Gravel:
"Dailyhaiku.org delivers one haiku every
day. That's it. Nothing more. No banner ads, no
personal commentary, no clever banter. Just one
piece of minimalist poetry published every day.
Haiku is a reminder that we all need to stop on
occasion and appreciate the subtlety of our lives
and the world around us. Dailyhaiku.org is a respite
from the craziness of everyday life. The site
reminds us that things like poetry are important
and worth slowing down for."
To keep the site vital, the six-author contributing
team at dailyhaiku.org changes twice per year
– once in April and once in October. In
the months leading up to a contributor change
over, the site accepts submissions. Check out
dailyhaiku.org/info for guidelines and details
on how YOU can become a contributor. The inaugural
contributing team consists of the following authors:
Laurie MacFayden. Raving Poets alumnus. Eternal
11-year old.
Aaron Marko. Die hard iconoclast. Born to raise
hell.
Ray Rasmussen. Modern Haiku master. Lover of mountains
and much else.
Kelly Shepherd. Lover of simple verse. Live from
Korea.
Mingus Tourette. Notorious Canuck poet. Driver
of a pink ambulance.
Thomas Trofimuk. Acclaimed novelist. Seeker of
the dharma.
Dailyhaiku.org promises to make your life a little
more zen-like. It won't do your dishes or walk
your dog, but it will strive be a calming influence
in your life. It'll be that tap on the shoulder
that says, "hey you! Don't be so busy! Chill
out, and pay attention to the little stuff!"
So checkwww.dailyhaiku.org
every day for your "daily shot of Zen".
April 4th, 2006
one last little black hope
If you read that hot Edmonton
Journal article and found your way here, you're
probably looking for the thousand
dollar notebook reward. Or you'd like to read
the poem I wrote about it. Both are posted after
the jump. And that's it.
The reward was first posted about two weeks ago.
Yes, it is a genuine reward. Hand my notebook
over, and I'll give you a thousand bucks. No questions
asked. And no, I'm not rolling in hot cash money—I'm
a poet. But that's what I'm willing to eat for
it.
Frankly, I've just about given up hope for it—even
though I keep checking snow banks near the ambulance.
I first panicked about this in February. It's
coming round to the time when I should get on
with it, and write about something else. Whether
I'd like to or not. Unless an Easter miracle happens,
it probably ain't coming back. So, thanks to all
who didn't laugh, and to Ohler, who actually thought
it was worth writing about it.
In the end - the reward stands. If you know someone
who might work near a lost and found, or a landfill,
let em know it could be worth big bucks.
Permalink:
http://www.nunt.com/notebook.gif.
---
---
And... the poem.
---
Blue Stigmata
The first snow storm of winter
comes in March.
The forests will burn this summer.
Under the deep drifts somewhere
lies my notebook.
Her face blank.
Her fine aster-white pages
rigid with ice crystals.
Her words and lines
still crisp for now.
Like anything buried in February.
Though soon,
the moisture will slither in.
The blood will soften
and sag heavy through the leather cover,
rotting out
and flowing into the mud.
Later, in June,
when this is supposed to be past me,
I will look at the black veins of flowers
with suspicion.
Stand four footed in the dirt
inspecting xylem and blue stigma for ink.
A pistil at my head.
Sniffing the styla for letters and lost poems.
And frighten spring hikers
with a righteous ridgeback's glare,
nostrils flaring between the petals.
So I'm on my hands and knees, I'll snarl.
Fuck you.
I'm whispering
to my daughter.
|
April 2006
