December 31st, 2004
go get drunk
And a happy new year to all. I'm gonna ring
it in with my new favourite drink, the rum and
tonic. Should be a smash.
And tomorrow. Wake up and dream of old Polynesian
lovers. And think about the year to come.
December 30th, 2004
the nature of change: part one
There is another journal that I have kept since
the mid-90s. I don't publish any of it in any
form. I noticed today that it crept over the 500
page mark. Small font, single spaced. Doesn't
include any of the material from the 800 - 1000
handwritten pages that fill coil-ringed notebooks
I keep in brown boxes.
Once in awhile, I step back into it, to see what
was happening seven or eight years ago. Especially
after a year like this one. I read quickly through
about thirty pages, and at the base, I could see
lots of talk about writing, lots of big hopes,
big ego, big fights with Nat, big drinking. Big
time spent working. Numerous descriptions of love
and sex. And death. And the dream.
Read through a part of the journal in which a
young Mingus tried to talk himself through some
distressing times with the dream, with the belief
that enough hard work and creativity will push
him towards a day when he will be able to write
for a living. How that will make things better
for him and Nat, for the pocketbook, for the ability
to live a normal life after quitting time. If
only he could tell stories for a living. And that
a rejection slip or a complete lack of connections
shouldn't affect his chances of achieving the
dream, and that no matter what the setback, or
the failure, that one must persevere, blindly,
ignorantly, if necessary. Because the dream has
always been to write, every day, all day. And
that in a year or two, it should all start to
pay off, so put the head down and write like hell
. The entry is dated October 28th, 1997.
There may be a moral to this story, but it is
unclear to me. Perhaps I am just refusing to see
it.
But What Happened Last
Week? By God, Find Out Here!
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December 27th - Jan 2nd, 2005