March 31st, 2006
stately slush piles
I wrote this little haiku for the kids. We all
wrote haiku. Which was a good time. I didn't think
it would take that much energy. But it did.
There are rumours of a hot new haiku site arising
soon. Be excited.
It will be huge.
As it is.
---
The slush piles blooming
My poor ambulance's tires
deflated - hissing.
---
March 30th, 2006
Circular
I never lose posts.
But then, I never lose notebooks.
So naturally, I just finished a thousand word
article on Stanislav Lem, and Irving Layton.
Frankly, it was great. Nicely circular, about
teaching. And death. And oddly humourous.
But now it's gone. And this is what you get. Something
about nothing.
As well, I received some information the other
day that someone may have the notebook. I wrote
about that in the post too, but I can't remember
what I said. It wasn't that brilliant. About being
mad, then hopeful, and then nothing.
Oh, I remember. Irving Layton was the reason I
used to run naked. When I was drunk.
Damnit. Out of context, that sounds ridiculous.
But it wasn't, originally. It was touching, and
a paean to a dead poet.
Jumping into the fertile muck, as he would have
written. But now it's just
March 27th, 2006
The Hostage Plus
This Thursday, I am teaching children how to
poetry. And not just a couple of children - I'm
talking about two classes of twenty-five kids
- three hours at a time.
I'm sure this means something in the evolution
of the Mingus. Even though I still woke up on
Saturday morning with a hangover and sore groin
muscles.
No one has written to trade in the notebook for
a thousand bucks. Though I think Corey Hamilton
would have kicked someone in the spleen to get
it. And then he said it was probably in a landfill
by now. He's not much for mincing words.
I read that poem about the notebook at the Raving
Poets, and won third place in the local poetry
contest. First place was a hundred bucks. I won
a handshake and a chapbook make from pink foolscap.
Sometimes I think I am a character in a Mordecai
Richler novel.
If you watch AlJazeera, you may have seen my notebook
on the regular ransom channel. It isn't true.
At least, we all pray it isn't. Except for me,
because I don't pray. A couple of the other fellahs
in here do, but we drown them out with noise makers
and gunfire. Anyhow, I blame the funny designers
at PN
for the AlJazeera hoax. Hmm, come to think of
it, one of them did win the original Tournament
of Evil. Coincidence? I think not.
Stay tuned for something. Richler-esque.
March 20th, 2006
One Thousand Dollar Reward
Permalink:
http://www.nunt.com/notebook.gif.
March 21st, 2006
World Poetry Day - Edmonton Voices Readings at
Audrey's Books
"MacEwan College and Audrey's Books co-host
two unique readings that pair student writers
with published writers from Edmonton.
The first of these readings takes place at Audrey's
Books on Tuesday, March 21 @ 7:30 p.m.
Student writers Jeanie Vanderwell and Mark Rumsden
are paired to read with Lynn Coady and Mingus
Tourette.
The second reading takes place on Tuesday, April
4 @ 7:30 p.m., also at Audrey's, on the corner
of 107th and Jasper. Student writers Whitney Exton
and Daniel Poitras will be reading with Thomas
Trofimuk and Diane Buchanan.
Lynn Coady was born in Cape Breton, lived in
Vancouver, and is now working in Edmonton. Her
novels Strange Heaven , Saints of Big Harbour,
and her short story collection Play the Monster
Blind garnered much critical acclaim. Coady's
just-released novel Mean Boy is about "poets,
ambition, class, ego, magic mushrooms, small towns
and academia. It is set in the seventies."
In 2004, Mingus Tourette bought an old ambulance,
painted it hot pink and set out on a cross-country
odyssey, the Write the Nation Poetry Tour to promote
his book of poetry nunt.
The book is composed on "nuntos," a
sort of anti-canto. Tourette writes and edits
the gonzo Daily Mingus and his website
says he "has been detained by police for
wearing nothing but a gasmask and an American
flag." He lives in Edmonton where he is working
on his next novel. "
-30-
I wonder if I always sound like a tit of this
magnitude. I need to work the words 'critical
acclaim' into my bio instead of 'has been detained
by police'. Fuck me.
March 16th, 2006
A Reading and a Blue Stigmata
I am reading poetry next week on world poetry
day at Audrey's Book Store. Tuesday, at 7.30pm.
I am reading with two students and a woman named
Lynn Coady.
I will say more about it later, when I am thinking
about things like promotion and not neurotically
searching through old papers, just in case.
Anyhow, I will probably read a poem or two from
the book, and several poems like this, carefully
crafted to make the reader feel better about his
own life.
Blue Stigmata
The first snow storm of winter
comes in March.
The forests will burn this summer.
Under the deep drifts somewhere
lies my notebook.
Her face blank.
Her fine aster-white pages
rigid with ice crystals.
Her words and lines
still crisp for now.
Like anything buried in February.
Though soon,
the moisture will slither in.
The blood will soften
and sag heavy through the leather cover,
rotting out
and flowing into the mud.
Later, in June,
when this is supposed to be past me,
I will look at the black veins of flowers
with suspicion.
Stand four footed in the dirt
inspecting xylem and blue stigma for ink.
A pistil at my head.
Sniffing the styla for letters and lost poems.
And frighten spring hikers
with a righteous ridgeback's glare,
nostrils flaring between the petals.
So I'm on my hands and knees, I'll snarl.
Fuck you.
I'm whispering
to my daughter.
March 14th, 2006
Mike Gravel Traded to Red Deer
Editor's Note: Those RP fellahs are funny.
Too bad I'm working split shifts. Go enjoy them
yourselves. The fun! Look at their amusing press
releases! This is entertainment. Also, you can
hear me rip up a couple poems with them on
their site.
(EDMONTON) Last Wednesday was the Wednesday of
120 per cent…the band vowed to push their
performance beyond their usual 110 per cent and
ramp it up to 120!!! Stand-in host Thomas Trofimuk
set the goal at the beginning of the night…and
the poets rose to the challenge. The poets were
tremendous, sublime, weird, edgy and heady. Trofimuk,
apart from starting out with some sort of strange
tribute to Yianni’s boss lady Tammy, was
his usual laconic self.
When asked about his brief hosting style in a
locker-room scrum after the show, Trofimuk said:
“F**k you. How’s that for terse?”
Guitarist Randy Edwards, a man who has three pet
iguanas, said he thought the evening probably
clocked in at about 123 per cent. “Structurally,
I thought the night built momentum. There were
moments of 150 or 160 per cent. Frankly, I can
hardly wait for next week.”
“It’s a no trousers night next week,”
said Percussionist Gordon M. “We’re
committed to ramping up our performance.”
Regular Host Mike Gravel, in a shocking turn of
events, was traded to a poetry series in Red Deer
for a first round draft pick and $3 million U.S.
“I what?” he said when he was told
about the trade. “Red Deer? I don’t
know anybody in Red Deer. Are they even in the
playoffs?”
“Frankly, we needed the money,” said
Trofimuk. “Gravel has had trouble with the
law and we just thought he might benefit with
a fresh start, a new group of poets…We wish
him well down there. We’ve put the call
out to the farm team in Calgary for a new host
and our scouts will be making suggestions in the
coming weeks.”
Every Wednesday night from now until the end of
April,
The Raving Poets Experience happens at Yianni's
Taverna, 10444 – 82 Avenue, Edmonton. 8:00pm
start time.
Our next gig is on Wednesday, March 15. Get out
of the house! C'mon down to Yianni's and cut a
rug with us! Or
listen to us jam with Mingus Tourette! Fuck
yeagh!
March 9th, 2006
Step and a Whirling Spire Ethel on CBC
 I
lied. A Step and a Whirling Spire
wasn't on the CBC Tuesday night. Instead, Ethel
was.
You can see it at Zed
Real. It's pretty funktastic, though you must
watch carefully. It's short, and the audio clips
at the end, which decreases the staggering emotional
impact. I'm guessing that the Step was
too long. Or I lied about it from the beginning
to make myself feel more Jeremy-esque. Anyhow,
always interesting to see interpretations of the
work.
If you hate TV, you can just read the poem, as
it exists below. It has been described by journals
such as The Manchester Review and The Newbery
Bisque as "iridescent ... a work of pulverizing
trueness... simply sublime, not unlike Pound at
his best". Test it for genius yourself:
Ethel
got a letter
from the Canadian Mental Health Association
addressed to Ethel Munro at my home
today
and thought
hmm, no longer at this address
then thought suddenly
OH SHIT
what if she is?
March 7th, 2006
Step and a Whirling Spire on CBC
About a month ago, a producer from CBC contacted
me. A faithful Brandon Daily Mingus reader
had flipped a link her way. She read A
Step and a Whirling Spire and liked it.
She works on a late night show called Zed
Real, which has supposedly transformed the poem
into an animated text / image / video segment for
the show. Anyhow, I just found out that it's on
tonight, Tuesday, at 11.25pm. So, if you're up late,
check it out. If not, it'll be online in a couple
days - I'll update when it is.
March 6th, 2006
Big Films
Apparently, the Academy Awards ran last night.
They
honour the best and brightest.
Which reminds me of my encounter with a man who
has made almost a thousand films — far more
than the so-called king of films, Christopher
Lee, who hasn't even made three hundred.
The other day, I saw Ron
Jeremy walking out of a television studio
downtown. I walked right up to him and said, "Mr.
Jeremy, I'm a big fan of your work." And
I shook his hand. Which put me at one degree of
separation from a lot of prime rib.
He smiled and nodded knowingly, like he knew everything
about everything.
March 3rd, 2006
You Choose The Winner
Who had the bigger brain malfunction:
A. The leader of an entire province who threw
the official Opposition's health proposal at a
schoolgirl in front of a pack of schoolchildren
visiting the Provincial legislature. Link.
B. The Sudanese man who was forced to marry a
goat after making love to it. Link
You make the call!
March 1st, 2006
Presstidigitation
Now that the Olympics are over, perhaps some
of the Canuck media will cast their hazel stares
to the East where Iraq shivers on the brink of
civil war. (NY
Times | Bloomberg
|
BBC ). Or maybe not. As of this writing, Canada.com,
The Globe & Mail and CBC.ca
all have their top story as: the bungled murder
case of two Canadians in Mexico. Interesting,
yes. A possible world-shaping event? No.
Perhaps we should navel-gaze a little more and
ask ourselves, where did the Canadian hockey team
go so wrong? Perhaps it was in the exclusion of
(take yer pick): Staal, Savard, Tanguay, Crosby
or Marleau. Or Spezza or Kariya.
All I can say, again and again is: Forsberg is
The Man. Freaking dominant. Even this year’s
stats – only forty games played, but sixty
some points. If he’d been healthy all year,
he’d be neck and neck with Jagr for the
Art Ross.
Not that I watched the final game. I was still
busy trying to put my apartment together on Sunday.
Because I couldn’t stop looking for the
notebook. On Saturday night, instead of heading
out with a friend or two, or drinking with women,
I spent five hours methodically checking every
square inch of my apartment for a four by six
pad of paper. And I didn’t even notice the
time go by. I started when the sun was still up,
and I looked at the clock at nine-thirty when
I had exhausted every drawer, seat cushion, box
of paper and stack of books. This is a problem
and it isn't going away.
|
March 2006